I’ve been exchanging emails with a reader recently and I thought everyone might be interested in the questions and answers.
Question 1: During your solo intimate times with your wife, do you/she 'replay' past exploits, or does she not care to indulge? And do you (or she, or both) engage in 'comparison talking'...i.e. the difference between QM and XXX...during these pillow talks?
Answer: We often replay past exploits as well as potential new possibilities in bed. (I was going to say fantasies, but fantasy implies something beyond reach.) I usually bring it up, but she always enjoys it. My enjoyment stems from her's. She does do some comparison. I know that BD’s dick is about 1/2 inch longer and maybe just a bit thicker than mine, as well as what he does (and doesn't) do better.
Question 2: And lastly, since you are (or are trending toward) the cuckold end of the spectrum (as opposed to just sharing/MFM's), do you enjoy (mild) humiliation talk/actions at all?
Answer: Boy this last question is hard to answer. With BD it is more of them playing without me because that is what BD needs. He still gets a bit nervous around me. Wife would like MFM play. There is nothing like having 2 people pleasing you. But she is more than happy to spend time alone with BD. In fact, this has made her think about going out on dates alone with him. I want what she wants. I get excited if she is doing something erotic and that she truly wants to do it, as opposed to doing it because it excites me. If the later were true, I wouldn't get excited by it. It's complicated.
So humiliation. BD is never going to do that. First, we established our relationship as friends first on the first night. It would be hard to be the bull one night then a drinking buddy the next. Second, it's hard to humiliate someone when you suffer from stage fright whenever he's around. Third, frankly it's hard to find things about me to criticize. I'd say I'm in the top ten percent in terms of looks, strength, success, intelligence and friendliness. I am quite intimidating.
Also, it's not in Wife's personality to give out humiliation. So I don't get excited by humiliation. But if Wife liked it, (and she might like a guy dishing it out) I would want to do it for her. And I would be hard when I did.
I hope I was able to explain that well. I honestly like doing erotic things that please my wife. That is the part that is stimulating to me.
Question 3: I totally get the doing-it-because-it-excites-my-wife concept/motivation to your activities. Are there ANY hard limits that you think you could not/would not cross even if requested by your bride? Knowing what you do about her personality, does she seem likely to "push the envelope" with you with regard to sexual activities with or in the presence of one (or more!) of her lovers?
Answer: Limits: My first reaction was - No, I would do anything she wanted if it really turned her on. But then I remembered some things I've seen on the web and had to back off some. I remember one of the first accounts of a cuckold I read in 2003?. It included a photo with a tattoo stating Eunuch xx/xx/2013. He was celibate and would remain so for 10 years at which time he agreed with his wife and her lover that his penis would be removed (but not his balls). They were still deciding if the balls should be left hanging or tucked inside. While I like the idea of a cuckold with balls but no penis, and all the hormones produced by his testicles with no method to release the tension, you're out of your mind if you think I'm gonna do that. So, I would do anything that didn't cause permanent physical damage. (And I'm not much into pain.)
I'm sure that's not question you really had. Yes,I would perform an hour of foreplay on her and let him be the one to fuck her. I would hold his cock and guide it into her. I would suck his cock. I would let him fuck me, let many guys fuck me. I'd eat their cum out of her pussy or off her tits. I'd encourage them to have a baby and put my name on the birth certificate. I'd help her find a new guy every week, or help her catch the one special guy. But it has to be what she wants. I don't want to do any of these things, but if she likes it, I want to do them all.
She's not the type to "push the envelope" on this, so most of those things won't happen.
Question 4: Does your wife seem to have a 'type' - either personality (aggressive/dominant, player, etc.), or body type (swimmer, football player, Joe Sixpack) or 'other' (tattoos, cock size, 'bad boy' image, etc.)?
Answer: If I had to pick, I'd say her type (usually) is the player with a swimmers body, good looking, who’s confident and fun to be with. Aggressive, but not pushy. He knows he's sexy and he shows her that she is too. But also willing to be in a long term relationship.
Question 5: In an ideal world, how often would you like to supplement your intimacy with 'others' - weekly, monthly, occasionally? Your wife, is she of the same mind?
Answer: In a (semi) ideal world, BD would live with us and sleep in our king size bed. They would have sex whenever they wanted and I would have sex with her whenever she wasn't sore. lol Each night she would cuddle with him with me at her back for awhile, then turn over and cuddle with me with him at her back. She'd have two men to please her that were faithful to her - her husband and her lover. Sometimes the three of us (or just the two of them) would hook up with other couples or single females for some fun.
In an ideal world I'd add a girl to the mix. Firecracker would work. Someone hot and sexy that would sometimes be with me, sometimes be with BD, and sometimes be with Wife. And there'd be no jealousy. Now that's a fantasy!
Question 6: I don't want to do any of these things, but if she likes it, I want to do them all...
One might/could assume that by listing specific activities (sucking cock, being fucked, cleaning/fluffing, pregnancy, finding her someone to fall in love with) you've contemplated them and not rejected them like you've done with castration (good call, BTW). Therefore, is it 100% true to say you don't want to do any of these things? Just asking...
Answer: That's true. I don't want to do these things, but they don't disgust me either. I don't want to suck a cock like I don't want to drive for 12 hours, which I will do when needed, not like I don't want to eat rotten food, which of course I won't. But most men would put sucking a cock in the rotten food category.
Question 7: And I'm not much into pain...
Have you ever turned the tables in the bedroom and let her be in charge (see comment below)?
Answer: We've tried. She just doesn't like that, and quite frankly she's not the take charge type of person.
Question 8: She does seem to enjoy directing you and/or placing limits on you from time to time... If so, does it involve physical discipline?
Answer: The only limits she really places on me is that I can't fuck other women (usually). No physical discipline.
Question 9: What about strapon play - is that something you (or she) would be interested in?
Answer: She wouldn't like that. But she has hinted she might like a big guy taking my anal cherry. And No, I’m not interested in that. (Unless she asks really nice and it is turning her on. I wouldn’t want to do it for myself or for the guy, but for her, maybe.)
Question 10: Maybe a tattoo (temporary henna, or permanent) indicating your status..."cuckold" or "Wife's Property" or some such?
Answer: We've considered tattooing my wife's name on the head of my penis. I'd be willing, but I don't think it is possible with good results. The few real penis tattoos, and there are very few, look bad due to the loose skin when limp and not much better hard.
Question 11: She's not the type to "push the envelope" on this, so most of those things won't happen.
Have you discussed (in conversation or fantasy/pillow talk) the limits of the envelope (i.e. like the acts you mentioned) or does it happen more-or-less organically (as it did in the car on the way to the hotel w/ Mr. F)? If so, what has been her reaction?
Answer: We have discussed everything I have written about, multiple times and in depth. When I say she likes something, or won't like another thing, I'm not guessing. I know. Her limits morph and change over time. She'll see a pic of something that she didn't used to like and say that it looks interesting. I'll talk to her about it so she can explore her feelings. Sometimes she will like something that she didn't before.
Question 12: Aggressive, but not pushy...
From your description, it seems as if your Wife enjoys a more dominant lover in bed - you seem to adopt that role. But perhaps your true nature is a bit more submissive (at least in the bedroom) and that has led you to the adventures you and she have engaged in?
Answer: I'm definitely a dominate lover (and else wise). I can play the sub role for awhile, but I will lose interest if it is every time. What has led to my wife being a Hotwife is that this was a way for me to let her enjoy some of the fun I have. And maybe that will lead to her letting me have more. Or maybe not.
Question 13: ...with her whenever she wasn't sore...
Have you ever contemplated/discussed/practiced orgasm denial? What about chastity play?
Answer: We did have a period where she would say when I could have an orgasm. I think she made me go 14 days once, but usually just 2 or 3. Even during this time, she was not what I would call dominate.
Question 14: ...you'd add a girl to the mix. Firecracker would work...
I went back and read all the Firecracker posts. Truthfully, I'm a little confused (not that you owe me/your readers any explanation) - what is her relation to you two...Wife's friend? You've been given BJ permission...but not from Firecracker I gather (she falls in the 'socializing circle'). Was she your wife's one bi- experience?
Answer: She is a mutual friend. Before her latest boyfriend came around she would call/text either of us. Now she usually contacts Wife. I think that just might indicate that she has/had interest for me and now doesn't want it to come up. I do know she would have slept with me if she wasn't friends with Wife, because, well, look at me. No, neither of us have enjoyed the pleasures of Firecracker. I don't know if I put it in the blog, but Wife told me later, that it would have been ok if I had kept going the night of the striptease and got us into a threesome. Bitch! tells me after it's too late to make it happen when I was searching for the go ahead while we were there. So is she really off limits? Probably not. Wife hasn't said yes to anything anytime with her, but I think I if the opportunity came up, it would be ok.
6 years ago