Just Whose Fantasy Is This Anyway? (or What’s With All The Parentheses? And Why So Damn Many Questions?)

Anonymous posted an interesting comment to Ketchup July 8, 2009.  I have to thank him for providing the thought provoking input that got me to create this post.  He (I think Anon is a he.  Hard to tell really.  Could be a woman, I guess.  Maybe Anon isn’t even sure.  But I think he’s a man and therefore I’m going to assume he is.) thinks that I (that sure loses the (sarcastic mimicking) emphasis of being in all caps) am the one with a fantasy and Wife is “going along for the ride.”

Now Sexy PTA Mom is definitely a woman.  Wow what a woman.  She also posted a comment to that post.  I spent some time looking at her blog.  In fact I went there first (and went back again too (not cause I liked it, but because it was intellectually stimulating (oh and the pictures are very artistic, makes you feel real emotion :) (Can you guess which one?)) In fact I think I might go there for some stimulation (intellectual that is (Hey if I’m going to be accused of thinking with it, I might as well)) right now)) before I ever gave a thought to Anon’s comment.  It is interesting that these two commented on the same post.  Sexy PTA Mom admits that this was her husband’s fantasy from the beginning and she has done things (enjoyable things) to please him (the piercings, for example).  I think that’s sweet.  However, is it still just his fantasy?  No.  First of all it’s no longer a fantasy.  She is doing it.  And second, she seems to be enjoying it.  It sounds like it is turning into her desire as well as his.  At least I hope so.

But Anon’s comment begs for a response.  He asks if he is right.  Seems like I have two choices, yes or no.  Is he right?  In some ways, yes.  In other ways, no.  So to answer, I need to address each part of his comment:

“I found your blog few weeks ago and love your writing!!”
Correct – who would not love my writing ;)

“As far as finding a lover for wife, you both discussed that option (stated 3.8.09.). You say she enjoyed that discussion immensely.”
Correct – We have had many discussions over the past 4 years about seriously finding her other men with whom to enjoy sex.  Prior to that it was something that I told her she could do, but she wasn’t sure I meant it.  (I’ll have to go into our history sometime, but that’s another epic post.)  Mostly it was a bedroom topic, but 4 years ago it became “real”.  That is, it became a real option for her.  An option she considered obtainable.  Since then it has always been something she could do if she chooses to do.  And, yes she does enjoy these discussions, but it wasn’t just one discussion.

“You also mention that you are smart, good looding etc.”
Incorrect - I have never looded!  But I am a smart(ass) blogger.

“I guess am still curious as to why you want a lover for her. I think that it's YOU that wants to watch etc.”
Oh yeah!  Well I think it is YOU that wants to watch etc.  Don’t you?  You’d like to see my wife getting banged by another man.  Yes, I enjoyed seeing my wife have sex with STM, but not for the exact reasons that I think you think I have. 

“Otherwise, you would be swingers and share couples..”
WRONG – Believe me, if I had my way we would be swingers and sharing other couples (and single women).  I’m as horny for women as they come.  But as I said in my profile, I’m faithful.  I couldn’t enjoy myself doing anything like that if Wife didn’t give me the OK, and she hasn’t :(.  You may not believe that.  You might think all men are dogs (which, of course, we are, but some of us are house broken), and will hump anything we can.  But I could never risk losing my wife for some hot, steamy, passionate, all night long, doing it over and over again, in the car, on the patio, in the hall, on the stairs, in the bed, in the shower, in the garage, strange, 4 women on me sex.  And occasionally she does let me off the leash for a little while :).

“Sounds like it YOUR fantasy and wife is going along for the ride.”
Incorrect – She is definitely not along for the ride.  She wants a long term lover.

Now I admit that have I enjoyed the idea of cuckolding for a long time.  I’ve always been sexually excited by the idea of women who are not shy about getting the sex they want.  I like watching porn actresses get fucked by multiple men especially when it is her choice rather than the men’s.  A married woman that gets sex from other men is getting what she wants and I love that her sex drive is so high.  I also like the idea that these strong women deny their men.  That some put them in chastity devices and never have sex with them again.  I like these women.  I want to have sex with them, but do I want my wife to be one of them?  Hell No.

So why do I do it?  Why do I want my wife to have a lover?  I stated it in the first thing I ever wrote for this blog, my profile.  I love her.  I want her to have what she wants.  I want her to have the best life she can.  I want her to enjoy sex at its best.  I give her what I can (and that is pretty good I’m told), but even so I want her to have more.  STM was great with his tongue (I’m good with my tongue, but not great) and others might be better at this or that.  I want her to have it.  I want her to have two men.  I want her to have what she wants.  If she didn’t want this, there would be no fun in the fantasy for me.

How do I know she wants a long term lover?  I asked, dumbass (sorry, the smartass came out again (or maybe it never went in)).  Let me explain.  Four years ago, when it looked like this might become more than a fantasy, I asked Wife how she wanted to proceed, what she wanted in a man.  Then I changed my desires to match her desires.  For example, I thought it would be best to start with a man that there is no chance we will ever see again, but I didn’t tell Wife that.  I let her tell me what she wanted.  She wanted, in effect, a boyfriend.  That was hard for me.  I’ve never told her that.  I wanted her to try sex once to see how it went, and she wanted to have a guy she likes first and can see and fuck on a regular basis.  I did not let on my reservations but went about changing my feelings.

How did I do this?  I thought about it over a long period.  I did not take action until I had time to thoroughly contemplate it.  I asked if she wouldn’t like to start in the way I had considered.  She said no, she didn’t want just some stranger.  That wasn’t her.  She needed to feel something for him before she would want to sleep with him (She’s a good girl at heart, even when she is bad.  Sleeping with someone just for fun was something good girls just didn’t do. A one night stand? Out of the question.  (A long term boyfriend for a married woman though was a different matter, though. :) ))  Finally, I fantasized about it.  I took my cock in my hand and stroked myself while thinking about my wife out on a date with her boyfriend, about her spending the night (or weekend) with him, about the three of us celebrating her birthday together, about him being a part of our life and how much Wife would enjoy that.

This is a technique that I came (literally :) ) across awhile back.  See, I used to (OK still do) think about all kinds of things while I masturbated.  Some of these things were the type of things that you don’t find exciting (like your wife having sex with other men) except when you are really aroused.  My standard process was to think of these things while I stroked, but to switch to a more acceptable fantasy (like me fucking a big chested babe) just before I came.  The downside to this was right after I came I felt a bit of shame/guilt/disgust about what had made me so hot.  I didn’t like that that had made me so excited (Guess I’ve got some baggage too.).  But it was always short lived, just a few minutes and I could easily get my mind off it.  Well, one day I was deep in one of these fantasies, and it must have been a really good one, but I really don’t remember what it was, and I got close to cumming.  Like I said I must have been deep into this fantasy, because while my brain could tell me that it’s time to switch to the “safe” fantasy, it was too confused by all the pleasure coming from my cock to be able to think of one.  I couldn’t come up with anything other than what I was already thinking.  I tried to hold back to give my brain time but that only increased the pleasure and urgency to cum.  My mind was spinning.  Finally, I couldn’t stop it any longer and I came with one of the most satisfying orgasms I ever gave myself.  (I told you I was good.)  As I laid there, my brain and body exhausted, my chest covered with the huge amount of cum I produced, I was completely satisfied and content.  I knew the fantasy that had brought me to this state.  I had used it many times before, but this time there was no shame/guilt/disgust, only contentment.  The more I did this with a fantasy, the more I could enjoy that fantasy when I wasn’t aroused.

So I used this technique with my wife and her boyfriend.  This was the first time I used it to make one of my wife’s fantasies mine, but not the last.  It worked.  After each time I felt more at ease with the idea.  After many times, it became my desire too because I want my wife to have everything she can.  Now the thought of her enjoying not just another man’s cock, but her lover’s cock, is getting me excited.  If anyone is riding on the other’s fantasy, it’s me riding hers.  But really this desire is ours, not hers, not mine, ours.

“Am I right????”
Let’s see: 3 correct and 3 incorrect.  So it’s a tie.

“Great job in writing and keeping us entertained!!”
I’ll do my best.  And when I can’t, I’ll still try to keep you up to date on the quest.  That shouldn’t be too difficult this month.  Wife is out of town for 3 weeks, and there is virtually no chance that she will be able to do much of anything in regards to finding a lover.  When she gets back, hopefully there will be a bunch of horny guys ready to meet her.