Why Would I Want My Wife to Have a Lover

Here’s a video I found in December or January.  By the time I got a chance to show it to my wife a couple weeks later, it was taken down.  I found it again, showed it to her and said this is how I want her to feel.  She liked it a lot and she was ready start actively looking for a lover (rather than waiting for the opportunity to come up again) with my help.

I feel this man loves his wife the way I love mine; completely, with out limits.  He’s happy, not necessarily horny, for her to enjoy herself.  I recently tried to find it again and got lucky.  It’s called “Cherrys 1st Interracial” and it is long (almost an hour).  Enjoy.

What Ever Happened to Mr. D?

I realize that we never let you know what has happened with Mr. D.  Where we left off, he and Wife were texting and emailing on a pretty regular basis, and he was eager to meet us, both of us.  The idea of pleasing my wife while I watched (or even participated) was a big turn on for him.  He’s a couple years older than us and divorced.  We got the impression that he didn’t have much opportunity for sex and this fantasy was very exciting for him.

He lives about an hour from us, so we suggested a meeting for dinner about half way between.  Unfortunately, he couldn’t make it the day we suggested and we couldn’t make it for awhile any other night.  Finally we were all available on Wednesday night, June 17.

The necessary communication between Wife and Mr. D trying to set up our first meeting was not all that sexual.  As they went back and forth trying to find an available time, it seems that he gradually began to realize that this may really happen, and that maybe it wouldn’t live up to his fantasy.  I’m guessing at this but you could sense something was different from the tone of his emails.  He was slower to respond and less excited.

Anyway, we finally agreed to meet on a Wednesday night for dinner.  On Sunday I sent him an email to confirm the time and place along with some tips on some of the things Wife likes while flirting and a reminder of our expectations (must be non smoker, D&D free, first meeting there will be no sex, condom use, etc.).  With the exception of the pointers on how to turn my wife on, there was nothing we hadn’t said to him before, but he replied that we have “WAY TOO MANY RULES” and called it off.

Maybe we do have too many rules, but we state them in all the ads we have posted.  None of this should be a surprise to any of the men that respond.  We also sprinkle them throughout our emails with them to make sure there are no surprises.

We thought about softening the rules, but if Wife is going to let your cock into her pussy, she deserves to say what she wants.  We made the mistake of not having STM confirm that he is a non smoker, and that was the one negative from our encounter with him.  In fact, that may have been the one thing that kept him from being invited to spend the entire night.  So we might be too picky, but we’re not going to lower our standards.  I think the right man is out there.  Maybe it’s Mr. E.

Just Whose Fantasy Is This Anyway? (or What’s With All The Parentheses? And Why So Damn Many Questions?)

Anonymous posted an interesting comment to Ketchup July 8, 2009.  I have to thank him for providing the thought provoking input that got me to create this post.  He (I think Anon is a he.  Hard to tell really.  Could be a woman, I guess.  Maybe Anon isn’t even sure.  But I think he’s a man and therefore I’m going to assume he is.) thinks that I (that sure loses the (sarcastic mimicking) emphasis of being in all caps) am the one with a fantasy and Wife is “going along for the ride.”

Now Sexy PTA Mom is definitely a woman.  Wow what a woman.  She also posted a comment to that post.  I spent some time looking at her blog.  In fact I went there first (and went back again too (not cause I liked it, but because it was intellectually stimulating (oh and the pictures are very artistic, makes you feel real emotion :) (Can you guess which one?)) In fact I think I might go there for some stimulation (intellectual that is (Hey if I’m going to be accused of thinking with it, I might as well)) right now)) before I ever gave a thought to Anon’s comment.  It is interesting that these two commented on the same post.  Sexy PTA Mom admits that this was her husband’s fantasy from the beginning and she has done things (enjoyable things) to please him (the piercings, for example).  I think that’s sweet.  However, is it still just his fantasy?  No.  First of all it’s no longer a fantasy.  She is doing it.  And second, she seems to be enjoying it.  It sounds like it is turning into her desire as well as his.  At least I hope so.

But Anon’s comment begs for a response.  He asks if he is right.  Seems like I have two choices, yes or no.  Is he right?  In some ways, yes.  In other ways, no.  So to answer, I need to address each part of his comment:

“I found your blog few weeks ago and love your writing!!”
Correct – who would not love my writing ;)

“As far as finding a lover for wife, you both discussed that option (stated 3.8.09.). You say she enjoyed that discussion immensely.”
Correct – We have had many discussions over the past 4 years about seriously finding her other men with whom to enjoy sex.  Prior to that it was something that I told her she could do, but she wasn’t sure I meant it.  (I’ll have to go into our history sometime, but that’s another epic post.)  Mostly it was a bedroom topic, but 4 years ago it became “real”.  That is, it became a real option for her.  An option she considered obtainable.  Since then it has always been something she could do if she chooses to do.  And, yes she does enjoy these discussions, but it wasn’t just one discussion.

“You also mention that you are smart, good looding etc.”
Incorrect - I have never looded!  But I am a smart(ass) blogger.

“I guess am still curious as to why you want a lover for her. I think that it's YOU that wants to watch etc.”
Oh yeah!  Well I think it is YOU that wants to watch etc.  Don’t you?  You’d like to see my wife getting banged by another man.  Yes, I enjoyed seeing my wife have sex with STM, but not for the exact reasons that I think you think I have. 

“Otherwise, you would be swingers and share couples..”
WRONG – Believe me, if I had my way we would be swingers and sharing other couples (and single women).  I’m as horny for women as they come.  But as I said in my profile, I’m faithful.  I couldn’t enjoy myself doing anything like that if Wife didn’t give me the OK, and she hasn’t :(.  You may not believe that.  You might think all men are dogs (which, of course, we are, but some of us are house broken), and will hump anything we can.  But I could never risk losing my wife for some hot, steamy, passionate, all night long, doing it over and over again, in the car, on the patio, in the hall, on the stairs, in the bed, in the shower, in the garage, strange, 4 women on me sex.  And occasionally she does let me off the leash for a little while :).

“Sounds like it YOUR fantasy and wife is going along for the ride.”
Incorrect – She is definitely not along for the ride.  She wants a long term lover.

Now I admit that have I enjoyed the idea of cuckolding for a long time.  I’ve always been sexually excited by the idea of women who are not shy about getting the sex they want.  I like watching porn actresses get fucked by multiple men especially when it is her choice rather than the men’s.  A married woman that gets sex from other men is getting what she wants and I love that her sex drive is so high.  I also like the idea that these strong women deny their men.  That some put them in chastity devices and never have sex with them again.  I like these women.  I want to have sex with them, but do I want my wife to be one of them?  Hell No.

So why do I do it?  Why do I want my wife to have a lover?  I stated it in the first thing I ever wrote for this blog, my profile.  I love her.  I want her to have what she wants.  I want her to have the best life she can.  I want her to enjoy sex at its best.  I give her what I can (and that is pretty good I’m told), but even so I want her to have more.  STM was great with his tongue (I’m good with my tongue, but not great) and others might be better at this or that.  I want her to have it.  I want her to have two men.  I want her to have what she wants.  If she didn’t want this, there would be no fun in the fantasy for me.

How do I know she wants a long term lover?  I asked, dumbass (sorry, the smartass came out again (or maybe it never went in)).  Let me explain.  Four years ago, when it looked like this might become more than a fantasy, I asked Wife how she wanted to proceed, what she wanted in a man.  Then I changed my desires to match her desires.  For example, I thought it would be best to start with a man that there is no chance we will ever see again, but I didn’t tell Wife that.  I let her tell me what she wanted.  She wanted, in effect, a boyfriend.  That was hard for me.  I’ve never told her that.  I wanted her to try sex once to see how it went, and she wanted to have a guy she likes first and can see and fuck on a regular basis.  I did not let on my reservations but went about changing my feelings.

How did I do this?  I thought about it over a long period.  I did not take action until I had time to thoroughly contemplate it.  I asked if she wouldn’t like to start in the way I had considered.  She said no, she didn’t want just some stranger.  That wasn’t her.  She needed to feel something for him before she would want to sleep with him (She’s a good girl at heart, even when she is bad.  Sleeping with someone just for fun was something good girls just didn’t do. A one night stand? Out of the question.  (A long term boyfriend for a married woman though was a different matter, though. :) ))  Finally, I fantasized about it.  I took my cock in my hand and stroked myself while thinking about my wife out on a date with her boyfriend, about her spending the night (or weekend) with him, about the three of us celebrating her birthday together, about him being a part of our life and how much Wife would enjoy that.

This is a technique that I came (literally :) ) across awhile back.  See, I used to (OK still do) think about all kinds of things while I masturbated.  Some of these things were the type of things that you don’t find exciting (like your wife having sex with other men) except when you are really aroused.  My standard process was to think of these things while I stroked, but to switch to a more acceptable fantasy (like me fucking a big chested babe) just before I came.  The downside to this was right after I came I felt a bit of shame/guilt/disgust about what had made me so hot.  I didn’t like that that had made me so excited (Guess I’ve got some baggage too.).  But it was always short lived, just a few minutes and I could easily get my mind off it.  Well, one day I was deep in one of these fantasies, and it must have been a really good one, but I really don’t remember what it was, and I got close to cumming.  Like I said I must have been deep into this fantasy, because while my brain could tell me that it’s time to switch to the “safe” fantasy, it was too confused by all the pleasure coming from my cock to be able to think of one.  I couldn’t come up with anything other than what I was already thinking.  I tried to hold back to give my brain time but that only increased the pleasure and urgency to cum.  My mind was spinning.  Finally, I couldn’t stop it any longer and I came with one of the most satisfying orgasms I ever gave myself.  (I told you I was good.)  As I laid there, my brain and body exhausted, my chest covered with the huge amount of cum I produced, I was completely satisfied and content.  I knew the fantasy that had brought me to this state.  I had used it many times before, but this time there was no shame/guilt/disgust, only contentment.  The more I did this with a fantasy, the more I could enjoy that fantasy when I wasn’t aroused.

So I used this technique with my wife and her boyfriend.  This was the first time I used it to make one of my wife’s fantasies mine, but not the last.  It worked.  After each time I felt more at ease with the idea.  After many times, it became my desire too because I want my wife to have everything she can.  Now the thought of her enjoying not just another man’s cock, but her lover’s cock, is getting me excited.  If anyone is riding on the other’s fantasy, it’s me riding hers.  But really this desire is ours, not hers, not mine, ours.

“Am I right????”
Let’s see: 3 correct and 3 incorrect.  So it’s a tie.

“Great job in writing and keeping us entertained!!”
I’ll do my best.  And when I can’t, I’ll still try to keep you up to date on the quest.  That shouldn’t be too difficult this month.  Wife is out of town for 3 weeks, and there is virtually no chance that she will be able to do much of anything in regards to finding a lover.  When she gets back, hopefully there will be a bunch of horny guys ready to meet her.

Ketchup July 8, 2009

Hi.  It’s been awhile.  Wife has taken up the reigns on finding a lover and writing the blog.  She has found out that it is a lot of work, and has found the time to only perform the highest priority tasks, which, of course, are the actual searching rather than the writing.

She’s been corresponding with several guys on AM, AFF and email.  She has texted and talked on the phone with one man that we are getting close to meeting.  In fact we had a date set up for last Saturday, but we had to move it to Sunday.  On Sunday, he got called out of town.  We (meaning Wife and he) are working on setting another date.

He is a discreet man, but can be aggressive once given the go ahead.  He’s smart and a good conversationalist (so I’ve heard from Wife).  I think he may work out to be Wife’s lover, but since we don’t have a firm date set up with him, I’m hesitant to assign him a letter yet.

There are several others that we (Wife) would consider meeting (and maybe more) if this one doesn’t work out.  I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

Lastly, tonight we are going to dinner with Firecracker.  I always enjoy going out with her.  Will anything exciting happen?  Probably not, there will be other family members there.  Still it’s always fun.

Wife of Quiet Man’s Turn

QM is very busy with work nowadays.  So I am taking over trying to find a lover.  So I thought I would also write a post to give my view on things.

The Search:  Our meeting with STM was definitely exciting.  But finding someone for long term and local is becoming a bit of a challenge.  We’ve scared some away, had a dud, and a no show.  Not much to show for about 2 months of looking.

We have a couple of prospects that we have pics of and are emailing to see if there is any type of connection.  We shall see, maybe even this weekend.

Adult Friend Finder Find Me a Friend (with a Big Cock)

It’s Saturday night and I’m writing a post.  That can mean only one thing, Wife’s out on our date alone with Mr. D?  No, it means that Mr. D couldn’t make it tonight.  But he and Wife talked on the phone for the first time this week.  She liked it.  We might meet next Wednesday evening.

Since I’m not out meeting the man attached to the next cock to be in my wife, I thought I would torture you with a long boring post about AFF.  I gave you my first impressions nearly 2 months ago.  Since then I have learned a lot about AFF.

When you first register for AFF you select your gender, what you are looking for, your location, a valid email address, and your choice of user names (something like ImTheQuietMan.  You may have to try a few cause your first choice, say QuietMan, might already been taken.)  That gets you to a second screen of questions.  You select from a list of choices for things like your sexual orientation, height, smoking, etc.  You can upload a photo if you wish.  At the bottom of the page you will find the most difficult question, “Tell others about yourself”.  After this you will receive an email with the password.

Get your password and login.  You go to the Order page.  You can sign up for a silver or gold membership at this time (but see later why to wait).  You are now a standard member (Doesn’t that sound like it translates to average dick?).  Near the top of the page are menus for Home, Mailbox, Account, Search/Browse, Friends, My Lists, Chat, Get Local, Video, Blogs, Groups, and Shop.  Look around and see what you like.  I must admit it took me a long time to find my way around.  And I still haven’t tried all the features available to standard members.

At this point you won’t be able to do some things until your profile is approved.  I think they mainly check to see that you haven’t done anything illegal or posted contact info.  It shouldn’t be long though.  They say it can take up to 48 hours, but both accounts that I have set up were approved in about 2.

Here’s some of what you can do.

Home:
•    On the left side shows the number of messages, flirts, points, referrals (not sure what this is), new matches, views of your profile, and friends.  Click on any of them to go to a page with details.
•    You’ll probably notice the center section first, cause it’s got lots of naked people (It was weeks before I realized there was anything else on the page, lol).  Not sure why this is here, because they are from anywhere in the world, and usually nowhere near you.  Still you can’t help but look at them and mouse over the little i for a bit of info.
•    Click on the Online Matches at the top (or Our New Matches on the left) and if you’re like me, you’ll find a lot of guys in Dodge have limp dicks.  These are a few of the people near you that you might be interested in.  You can change your cupid settings so the default search is more to your liking and also to filter you incoming mail.

Mailbox:
•    The mailbox shows you the number of unread messages in the menu bar
•    You will have an email from the system.  READ IT.  It gives you good information about being successful using the site.  Save it and read it again later.  It apparently has a link to a benefits page that lists what you get for as an average dick, silver dick or gold dick.  That’s the one thing I’ve bitched the most about, and fuck if they didn’t tell me on the first day.  Typical man, never reads the instructions.

Account: where you can update your profile and change account settings.

Search/Browse:  duh, but limited for standard members

Friends: You can collect friends.  What good is that?  As far as I can tell, you get to see their private photos.

My Lists:  here you can get lots of good info on whose viewed you, flirted with you, and hotlisted you, as well as who you have flirted with and hotlisted.

Chat:  haven’t used

Get Local:  use this to find out about places and events near you.  This is based on your IP location, not the place you might have picked as your location when you signed up, say Dodge City.  But you can change it to anywhere.

Video: check out member’s webcams.  Only one can be open at a time for standard members.  I watched a woman cuckold her husband with their friend one night.  That was really cool.  Another time I found a woman in Spain showing off to just 2 people.  When I joined, her robe closed quickly (but not quick enough) and she then went private.

Blogs, Groups, and Shop:  haven’t used them (why bother, my blog’s not on there!)

What I like:
•    This site it made for everyone.  No matter what gets you up, they got it.  (Unless you’re into something illegal.  In which case, you’re on your own, buddy.)
•    You can sign up as a male, a female, a couple (man and woman, 2 women, or 2 men), a group, or a TS/TV/TG
•    There are lots of people on here.  We’ve had contact with men, women and couples.  Most from our area, but some from around the world.
•   If you are popular, you can view profiles as a standard member.
•    Mailbox shows how many unread messages you have in the menu bar
•    After a few days, we got a discount on upgrading.  First it was 10% for about a week.  Then it went to 20% for about 2 weeks.  Finally it went to 40% for less than a week.  By then, I was busy and missed the chance.  After, it returned to 20%, then 10%.  Now it is full price again.  We’re still happy as standard members, so no need to pay just yet.
•    LOTS of good stuff.  Profiles, chat, webcams, local info, flirts and more
•    Anyone can flirt with anyone
•    Email By name who has sent you a message in AFF
•    Emails showing which members have put you on their flirted with, hotlisted, and viewed you
•    Emails showing new members and matches in your area
•    Upload a voice greeting and send voice messages
•   Post photos, standard members can only see a thumbnail of the main photo.  Others can see more (silver limited to 5 and to approximately 3x2” area, gold can see all full size).  There is one woman who rotates her pics every few days so we can see them all.  You can also upload private photos for your friends network to see.
•   You can hide your profile
•   You can set up an auto response to incoming emails

Additional services available for a fee:
•    Always be able to view profiles
•    Keep emails longer (60 or 120 days)
•    View photos in profiles (up to 5 per profile for silver, unlimited for gold)
•    Advanced search
•    View members’ videos
•    Priority placement in profile lists, search results, etc
•    Telephone tech support

What I don’t like:
•    Haven’t found a way to change the password from the random characters the registration process creates to something I can remember.
•    Sometimes when you leave a webcam, you can’t open another right away.  You have to wait up to 2 minutes for it to realize you have closed that window.  Othertimes it works fine.
•    Hard to find your way around.  I’ve been using it for 2 months and still have a hard time ;) finding everything.
•    Your emails are somehow screened.  I think it is electronically looking for certain words.  We had a guy (Mr. A) send us his profile name with another site name.  His email was caught and we got a message saying he sent something inappropriate.  You can’t give out contact info for the first 2 messages.  We’ve seen people put things like contact me at xxx on the why in other screened fields.
•    There is no “I’m not interested in you, loser!” flirt
•    It keeps your profile forever.  We saw the old one we abandoned 3 years ago.  We no longer have the email account associated with it so we can’t log in.
•    If you hide your profile, no one can contact you, even those you have been emailing aready.


What I don’t know:
•    How you become popular.  Is it based on the number of emails you receive?  That might explain why we can sometimes see profiles and sometimes not.  Although there seems to have been a widespread problem with viewing profiles in early May.
•    What are referrals?

Summary:
Overall, I like Adult Friend Finder.  We have met some good and some not so good guys on this site.  The site is definitely there to make money, which I don’t have a problem with.  We will probably sign up someday (if Mr. D isn’t enough).  The site is horrible to navigate.  There are many screens with similar info, and finding the one you saw last time is frustrating.  On top of that, sometimes we are popular and have extra privileges and sometimes we are not.  There is no way to tell.  That’s not true.  You can see if you can view others profiles.  If not, you’re not.  But we didn’t know about the extra privileges for a long time and couldn’t understand why we could view things one day and not the next.

There are a lot of active people on this site.  So much so, we had to put a message on our profile telling people that we we’re looking right now.  That slowed down the messages and flirts, but didn’t stop them.  Wife wants to wait until we meet with Mr. D before we open it up again.

I do recommend Adult Friend Finder.  I think it is good for a quick hook up and for finding a long term relationship.  It all depends on who you meet, just like anywhere.  Only on AFF you know a bit about what each is looking for first.

Ketchup - 6/7/09

Ketchup - 6/7/09
No time to write.  Even worse, no time to play.
We’ve both been very busy the last couple of weeks, and we’re busy again next weekend.  We haven’t arranged any more meetings.

We have not heard back from Mr. A.  He’s a gold member on AFF and has logged in as late as yesterday.  I don’t get it.  Why would you pay to be a gold member and spend time emailing if you don’t really want to meet anyone?

Mr. C has been conspicuously quiet.   He is on AM and he logged in 2 days ago, but didn’t answer our latest email.  Could be that he’s busy.  Or it could be because we asked if he is a smoker.  In his profile, he left that question blank.  We assumed that meant he was a smoker, so we asked.

Mr. D is another situation altogether.  We asked for his cell number and Wife has texted with him a few times.  He seems very eager. 

I started writing this post 4 days ago and got interrupted.  Now we have asked Mr. D if he would like to meet this Saturday for drinks.  We’ll let you know what he says.

Still haven’t heard from Mr. A or Mr. C and we don’t expect that we ever will.  So right now we’re down to just one Mr.  That’s about all we have time for.  If he doesn’t work out, we’ll start looking again.