My wife has decided that it is time to take an additional lover. Since early in our relationship I have told my wife that she can sleep with other men. And we have fantasized about it often in the bedroom. I’ve made love to her while discussing other men, specific men by name. She has enjoyed this immensely.
However, this had remained our fantasy until a few years ago. She was ready to take the next step. She got an account on Adult Friend Finder and was quickly exchanging emails with several other men, local men that she had real opportunities to meet. We openly talked to each other about her with other men, what she wanted, and how we could get it. This talk wasn’t just in the bedroom (although those talks continued :)) and it became very nonchalant.
I remember sitting on the beach at a resort where the staff had lined up lounge chairs in pairs with an umbrella and six feet separating each pair from the next. It wasn’t very crowded at this time of day, and we talked in normal voices. The chairs closest to us were vacant, so there was sufficient privacy. We were having a conversation about what Wife wanted in her new relationships. I guess we weren’t quite quiet enough because at one point, a woman sun tanning on her stomach 15 feet from us picked her head up and gave me the oddest look. At first I took it for disgust, but I didn’t care and we kept talking. Obviously she had heard enough to know what we were talking about. Later I caught her stealing glimpses our way and her look was of curiosity now. I wonder if we helped her to consider new possibilities.
Anyway, after a couple of months of online flirting, Wife seemed to never find the time to pursue this any farther. I’m not sure of the exact reasons, but we continued to talk about her and other men, mostly in bed.
So why start a blog now?
Over the last few months, Wife has expressed a renewed interest in finding an additional lover. Last Friday, 3/6/09, she looked at a personal ad and was intrigued. Yesterday morning, after discussing the possibilities, I sent a reply to the ad. This seems like a beginning. After reading JessTess’s blog (and Suburban Hotwife’s before her hopefully short hiatus) I was inspired to create my first blog and to start it at the beginning. Recording events as they happen, we will see where this goes.
That’s an odd heading, isn’t it?
1. First I need to apologize to Wife. I’m starting this blog without her knowledge. I’m sure at some point I will share this and she’ll like it, but for now I wanted to start it alone. (However, even just setting up the blog and writing this first entry has been difficult to do in secrecy, and I don’t want her to think I’m sneaking around. I’ll probably share it with her very soon.)
2. Next I need to apologize to you. The title may have set expectations that the blog doesn’t live up to. Wife has not taken a lover. This blog is about the journey and I don’t know if that is where it will end up. If that’s all you want to find out, check back in 6 months.
3. Third, this is my first blog and I don’t consider myself a creative writer. Most of my writing is of a professional or technical nature, but I’m finding this to be fun. I am a terrible proof reader (it always says what it’s supposed to say until someone points out otherwise), and I may not find time to post updates very often. As such, I may commit some blogging breach of etiquette. When I do, please kindly point it out. I will do my best.
4. Finally, I apologize to the authors and fans of any cuckolding site that I join. I tend to lurk for awhile before joining/subscribing/follow a site but once I do, the site is sure to call it quits. I first noticed this with a Yahoo group called Wives Considering Cuckolding. Women asked questions, answered others, talked of their experiences, what their husbands thought, etc. When a woman decided to finally do it (or to not do it), she was welcomed with many comments of support. I especially liked the posts and congratulations comments from the I Did It announcements. After lurking for a year, we made an introduction and posted questions on where to find men. Within a month the moderator decided this wasn’t fun anymore and shut down the group.
Other examples are The Cuckold Forum (although they may be back at OurHotwives.org - I haven’t joined), FMSB (stopped updating right after I joined), and the three of the four blogs that I started following last month. Suburban Hotwife and her Husband have taken a break from blogging. David hasn’t updated Allie’s blog in over a month. Even JessTess has changed direction in her blog since I started to publicly follow. I don’t feel any malice to any of the authors for their decisions. In fact I fully support their decisions to do what is right for them at this time. If they want to write to tell me (oh and the rest of the world too) about their lives I happily read, but if they choose to stop telling I wish them the best and will miss these online friends I have come to know.
End of the Starting Point
I was all prepared to tell you that we didn’t get any response back yet from the ad, and I would have if I hadn’t taken extra time to start this blog in secrecy. But my deceivery (is it a Faux Pas to make up words?) is your gain. We have a response, and it is pretty good. Next time I will have to tell you about Oral Promises. :D
Note: Edited 3/11/09 to add hyperlinks. QM
5 years ago